PICK UP  31jul95

A grimacing countenance
joining a jaunting stare
transmitted accross a blithering medium
carefully avoiding the bustling
activity of a constellation of
uninterestings and undesirables
reaching it's reactionless and
yet unmotivated intended
            target

An ineffectual effort
of spent energy and hope
A target of apparent inexorable
unapproachableness and unattainableness
Never adept at playing this mountainous 
of endeavors there is no recourse
but to withdraw in acceptance
of self-unendowment and mediocrity
             failure

Reformation of facial muscles
restored to the sulken home position
to which they are most familiar
pounded into place by a quarter lifetimes
worth of what can only be justified
as ignorant undeserved bad karma
The gaze down of a defeatist
following a path and leading a
bundle of loss towards a bleeding
             exit

Less polluted atmosphere
serves as the stablizing ledge
temporarily immobilizing the 
trajectory of a fallen comrade
from reaching the end of his abyss
Refreshing the senses Facilitating
a few moments of refrain from cursed
             contemplation

Rotating his head in deference
to a reaction from a familiar
and recognizable acoustice signature
of an approaching entity of potential
pleasure or discomfort or nonconsequence.
The target of diffused attempts casualling
the briefest of stares and a hint of a smile
before disappearing from environment and life.
Perhaps delayed, perhaps salvaged, but nonetheless
the rejuvinating elation of a successful night
             afterall


PERFECT, COLD  4aug95

my butchered hand
carressing with great gentle
your now warm cheek
quivering fair skin now settled

you comprehend... you and i
a relationship perfect and practical
but to your emotional id
i am largely asexual

i realize this with your bossom
placed firmly against mine
our hearts palpitate synchronously
but our beats do not coincide in time

with every beat of my heart
yours is silent, and so also vice versa
i am europe, you are asia
and together we are antarctica


BLANK FIDELITY    4aug95

oh heavenly you
with your blood so blue
and tears that turn ice down your cheek

i do not comprehend
your love does not send
what i am is what you do not seek

the blissful morning skies
do not highlight your eyes
a black hole insteads a twinkling star

grandious denial
in lascivious recital
that claims you do not think what you are

but a rescuing virtue
keeps you in my pervue
that steers what is us from an abyss

your dutiful loyalty
will give us our eternity
though this does not reflect in your kiss


LIFETIME'S MOMENT    6aug95

do you remember...
as i do...
a forleorn microcosm of time
we shared

a brief millenia ago

your fingers
on the nape of my neck
offering gentle muscular massage

silent voices echoing
exchanging our personal wisdoms

of our astral love

projections of our souls
binding and unyielding
spiralling helically together

reflected in our bodies

noncorporeal one-ness
welcomely violated
by the touching of our lips
and transfer of cellular heat

that moment lives on

haunting my unconcious
feeding my dreams

embalming my blood
clamming my skin
rupturing my restless sanity
with relentless reality of loss

it shall keep with me past
my very last breath
in the future
a forelorn microcosm of time
                    from now


ALMOST PERFECT    6aug95

if i am seemingly trite
i must apologize
for unsolicited criticism
my current cynical guise

i question not your integrity
nor your psychological profile
my source is deeply personal
a form of projected denial

contraire, i find you perfection
uncontested specimin of beauty
an outlook that can charm like passionate music
a soul that calms a tumultous sea

truth defying completely without fault
diamond inspiring awe
your inexplicable attraction to me
must be your singular flaw


NEAR, FAR     6aug95

when the lights dim
and you open your eyes
do your dialating pupils
capture my myriad sighs

of my selfish frustration
contemplating your presence here
i curse my sense of chivalry
which serves as your invisible barrier

keeping me from feeling you
cannot let my true emotions show
would you repond a subtle hint of a touch
i guess i will never know